Eastside Addiction Professionals Blog

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good but something was bothering me and I wasn’t sure what.  As I was walking into the club where I work out I was feeling pressured because I wanted to get in a decent workout but I was later than I had planned so I knew I’d have to cut it short.  While getting things out of my locker I overheard two women talking about guarding their time.  Those three words were all I needed to hear this morning.  Guarding my time.  I realized the indefinable agitation was related to self care.  My sweetie was also upset because I was not respecting his schedule and I was wanting to talk a little longer on the phone at night or pressuring him to do things other than what he had scheduled.  As I was standing at my locker I understood that I was upset by my behavior because I was reverting and not respecting my own time and my own schedule or that of my loved ones.  It occurred to me that when my schedule is off I start trying to change other’s schedule and begin to wreck havoc on the week.  This was an epiphany for me and I was grateful for the awareness.  I never know where these little awareness will come from but if I pay attention to my surroundings and the people in my life and I can learn a lot from them.

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Have you ever snuck a drink, pill, drag, candy bar, or a trip to the casino and were never discovered?  This is relief use and it enables you to get through a stressful moment or day.  For some people just that one lapse occurs and they get quickly back on track and move forward.  For others it is the start of a descent that can last a couple of days to years.

“I can’t believe I drank”, “what is wrong with me”, “I should have known better”, “I just got to the point that I didn’t care”.  The chances of a lapse are the norm not the exception for many people.  Having a lapse is not a catastrophe and more often than not it does not spell d-i-v-o-r-c-e or some other life changing event.   It is a rough patch, I like to call it, and it is helpful to look at the stage of the change you are in currently.

The signs of a pending lapse are visible but you have to get to know them in order to intercept a relapse.  One thing helpful is to read the stages of change I have listed on the philosophy page of this website and figure out what fits for you.  These are not relapse warning signs but rather are descriptions about what you may be contemplating in recovery.  What I like about the Stages of Change model is the focus on change happening in incremental steps as you mentally prepare yourself to make the change.

If you have been in recovery long chances are you know why you are preoccupied with using.  Getting compassionate help at this stage by way of a sounding board is helpful to sort out what you have come upon that is hard to cope with. If you fail to take action to avert the relapse, guilt and shame quickly ensue and with it more drinking to numb the pain.  For those newer to the abstinence process a relapse prevention plan is vital to helping you recognize signs that you are having trouble.  It is extremely helpful to work on a plan with someone knowledgeable with relapse.

For many people, getting past the guilt, shame, self-recrimination and secretiveness of a relapse is critical to getting back on track.  Changing is in large part a mental process.  Affirming what you want instead of what you do not want is a really helpful technique, for example “I will have a happy day” instead of “I am not going to be negative today”.  The difference between the two is where the focus lies.  The first focuses on a happy day and the second focuses on a negative day.  Have a happy day!

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I believe, looking back, that I owe you a BIG THANKS for your help and guidance. I’ll give God much of the credit, but you were definitely part of that picture.
I really believe that not too many counselors could have gotten me talked into seeking help that I very much needed, but you were caring, convincing, and honest enough that I’ve spent the better part of the last couple of years getting my body and soul back. I still have work to do, but suppose that will be the case for the remainder of my life. I’m okay with that.
Anyway, just to let you know, I am heavily involved in daily AA groups. I have a new group of friends, all clean and sober, and most of them in a program of recovery. I will not hang with anyone that uses, but I don’t think those folks would much enjoy my company at this point either.
One of the bright spots in my journey of recovery, and life, is that I’ve been blessed to come across certain individuals, like you, who are dedicated to helping others. I know from the statistics, and my own experience, that your work must sometimes leave you exhausted from watching people like me destroy their lives (and the lives of those who love them). But obviously, there comes an occasional success story, On a day by day basis, I’m one of those. For that, I really do owe you a sincere thanks, and one that cannot be repaid, but is very much appreciated.
Also, I’m enjoying every minute that I get to spend with my daughter.  And I have almost two solid years of the peace that is called recovery. And rest assured, I am quite committed to helping my daughter navigate through life without making the same mistakes I experienced in chemical abuse and escape.
In summary, thanks so much for your help. It worked, and that’s what I wanted you to know.

John

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We all know that stress is our response to feeling threatened and worried.  When we get stressed our bodies have a way to protect us during stressful events by releasing the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline.  These hormones prepare the body to fight, flee or freeze.  Ever notice when you feel really scared your heart starts to race, you begin to tremble, your breath is faster, you feel tightness in your muscles and it seems as if you can hear and sense things better?

These are the changes that happen in our bodies to prepare us to deal with the danger.  Our reaction time and focus are sharper and our body prepares itself to go into a fight.  These ancient responses have not changed in our bodies despite our advancements in civilization.  The body does not distinguish between physical or mental stressors, they are the same to the body, which after time can take a toll on mental, emotional and physical health.

There are various ways we all deal with stress some more healthy than others.  Because the stress response is damaging over time it is helpful to look at how you react so you can begin coping with the stress differently.  In the case of chemical dependency/substance abuse both the addict and those around him or her use defense mechanisms that help to cope with the stressful events.  Some of the more commonly known defenses are rationalizing, minimizing, complete denial, the “yeah but you” response and complete withdrawal.  All of these responses help us to avoid facing a painful truth.

The problem with the defenses is that they don’t typically have a long term affect on the user.  For the user, defensive responses lengthen the time spent abusing drugs or alcohol.  This is in part because they know no other way to cope with their guilt about the pain they know they are causing others.  For the addict or codependent who uses these defenses it is the same effect; it enables him or her to go on abusing substances and for the codependent to continue their over focus on the addict.

So I have wound myself from writing about stress responses to defense mechanisms to show how we progress from a physical response to an intellectualized or mentalized response to something that is out of our control.

We are all impacted right now by what is going on in our economy and are struggling to come to terms with it’s reality and to figure out how to cope.  Obviously, this writer is a strong believer in talk therapy (and now blogging), but talk alone does not solve things.  There is an action that needs to take place to deliver on the desired outcome that gets discussed in therapy/treatment.  Now is a good time to figure out what to do to cope effectively since we all need to stay sharp to deal with the upcoming twists and turns.  Find someone who will listen to help you sort things out and maybe do the same for a friend.  Therapy is a great place to do this.

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How do you give up Marijuana?

If you are serious about quitting, the best way is to stop “cold turkey”.  You might be surprised that it’s easier than you think.  Soon after quitting, you’ll find that your thinking becomes clearer.

To quit using marijuana you have to confront your desire to get stoned.  You will be going into battle against a part of yourself that you no longer wish to exist.  Giving up marijuana, especially if you’ve been using for some time, is a bit like losing an old friend.  Quitting may feel like a funeral, but it is also the beginning of a new life.

Quit Strategies

1. Set a date and stick to it.
2. Replace marijuana use with new activities and interests.
3. Avoid situations where you used to get stoned.
4. Ask a friend for support.  You do not have to go it alone.
5. Say to others, “I don’t get stoned anymore.”

Taken from Brief Counseling for Marijuana Dependence 2005

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    To diagnose substance abuse there are two sets of criteria that assist is assessing if you are dealing with substance abuse or substance dependence. These criteria for abuse are:     A maladaptive pattern of substance use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by one (or more) of the following, occurring within a 12-month period:    

1. recurrent substance use resulting in a failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, home (e.g., repeated absences or poor work performance related to substance use; substance-related absences, suspensions, or expulsions from school; neglect of children or household)    

 2. recurrent substance use in situations in which it is physically hazardous (e.g., driving an automobile or operating a machine when impaired by substance use)  

3. recurrent substance-related legal problems (e.g., arrests for substance-related disorderly conduct)

 4. continued substance use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effects of the substance (e.g., arguments with spouse about consequences of intoxication, physical fights).    

The symptoms have never met the criteria for Substance Dependence for this class of substances.      

The criteria for substance dependence are:    A maladaptive pattern of substance use, leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by three (or more) of the following, occurring at any time in the same 12-month period:     

1. tolerance, as defined by either of the following:  

• a need for markedly increased amounts of the substance to achieve intoxication or desired effect  
• markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of substance

 2. withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following:        

•  the characteristic withdrawal syndrome for the substance    
• the same (or a closely related) substance is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms    

 3. the substance is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended

4. there is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use    

5. a great deal of time is spent in activities to obtain the substance, use the substance, or recover from its effects    

6. important social, occupational or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of substance use    

7. the substance use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the substance (e.g., continued drinking despite recognition that an ulcer was made worse by alcohol consumption). 

 It is difficult to assess substance abuse by yourself but if you find that you are experiencing any of the symptoms listed it would be helpful to see a professional for an assessment.

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